Sunday 5 April 2009

DIY - The Underated Art Form

There's a common theme running through my DIY history. My brother , mother and definitely my wife can confirm this for you (if you ever happen to be chatting to any of them). I never quite finish a job. Now I'm not talking about those crazies you see on the DIY shows who have destroyed several rooms of their houses because they thought it would be cheaper to re-wire the house themselves - only to find out that the A6 leaflet they picked up from B&Q entitled "Everything You Need to Know About Re-wiring Your House" turned out not to have all the answers.

I know my limitations. Will maybe i don't, but I always assess any potential new projects by asking one simple question: Could it kill me? If the answer is 'No', then I'll give it a go. If the answer is 'Yes', then its time to call in the professionals.

Flatpack is my speciality (I know that's hardly DIY but give me a break). To give you a clearer picture here's some of my limitation: Does it require me to fit into small spaces? Then give someone else a call; Does the job require the use of two or more tools? Er...pass; Will it take longer than 20 mins? Then I'll probably not finish it.

Are you getting the picture. Just to make it crystal clear I tried to paint the ceiling of my bedroom. I was maybe 17/18 at the time. I got half-way across when I got bored. I had a line across the ceiling for years. Another time I tried to change a light switch once. I carefully read the instructions. Red (live), Brown (neutral) and Green/Yellow wire (earth) check! I took out the fuse (less chance of death that way), looked for my coloured wires and found 2 red wires and one black wire!!!!!! What??? ABORT ABORT!!!!

Anyway the wife has come up with the perfect solution - ask my brother