Thursday, 14 May 2009

Myths of Parenthood part 1

MYTH No. 1 - Kids are so much easier to manage before they can walk

There are a set of standard questions parents ask of other parents when discussing their kids. For example we have the classic - What weight was s/he? (Most appropriate just after the baby is born - not so appropriate when discussing potty training!). Then we come to probably the most common question in baby small talk history - Who does s/he look like? It’s really funny because everybody sees something different. For example my wee boy Callum who at the weekend had my eyes, today has Steph's eyes! When asked this question I like to throw in a few curve balls - "He has Yoda's face, Abraham Lincoln's nose and Ben Afleck's eyebrows".

To me it’s all a bit weird, like there is some desperate need to see some part of yourself in your offspring. Frankly if Callum looks nothing like me I'll consider it a blessing for the wee man - he dodged a massive bullet there!!!

Anyway, enough false self-deprecation, the point is, kids change so much in such a short space of time. For example 2 weeks ago Callum could hardly walk the length of himself then almost overnight he was up, up and away!

Before this momentous occasion occurred we were inundated with the comment “Enjoy this time before they can walk cause afterwards it’s a nightmare, they just get into everything!” It’s a total myth people!!! My life just got sooooooo much easier. He was already into everything anyway. From the moment he learned how to roll to get where he wanted (this later developed into lightning fast 4-limb drive crawling) he was seeking out danger in all its forms. His determination to kill himself has been unprecedented. We had his unwavering pursuit of sticking electrical things in his mouth; his resolute quest to throw himself down the stairs and his favourite game “What happens when I hit my head against this object?”

Before you phone the social worker, super dad has prevented most major incidents from happening.

Anyway, now he can walk I no longer have to carry him everywhere. He wants to walk. It’s brilliant – that’s 2 stone less I have to worry about. I have enough weight of my own. Plus he’s getting some really funky dance moves (usually to the Mr Men theme tune or Girls Aloud on the radio – he gets that from his mum, honest). Most entertaining.

That’s enough change though for now. He’s already growing up way to fast. I just want him to stay this age for at least a few more years….please!

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